Wednesday, 19 October 2016

Simple+YOU= Life





A cold shower… A late night snack… a cuddle from behind…. A smile from a far...A mother’s care towards her child…waking up to the love of your life. The little things that just lights up your day or make you smile even if it just for a while.
For some it could be a word of encouragement, saying thank you, holding a door for the next person or slowing down for pedestrians to cross on a highway or as a colleague of mine said 'something new (book, friend, idea etc.) just excites me'.

This little moment of self-satisfaction is deeper than we see it. It goes a long way whether you are the giver or receiver. It could mend a heart, make a day better or soften life’s daily punches.
With each day, it changes just like our wants and desires. However, there are daily constants and this differs from person to person. At every point, we have certain needs or wants.
For the boy on the street, a meal for the day will be a miracle. For the market woman as many customers as possible is what would make her happy.
So the task is to ask yourself on a daily basis. How can I make someone smile today? How do I appreciate the little bits of happiness place around me?

For me, making someone smile is EVERYTHING. I personally feel I was created to help others because being the reason why someone smiles light up my day. I sincerely can’t explain how it makes me feel. It is experiential. Now do I always feel this way, certainly NOT but I most certainly appreciate it more whenever I do.


P.S For those that know me well and have a chat with me once in a while, I write with a lot of ellipses is….When asked why my response is always...I have more to say ‘naani’, which is always true anyway because I will always have something to say. Till next post dearies. God’s love is yours always. 

Tuesday, 4 October 2016

Who made the RULES

Chai!! Why on earth is her husband shorter than she is. That is so not picture perfect.

She didn’t wear makeup on her wedding day? Now that’s just wrong. Who does that?

Why would you give me money with your left hand? It's plain disrespect!!!

You have had these random thoughts or others one or several times towards friends, family or even random people you know nothing about. You unconsciously give a scornful, displeased look toward things or situations that do not fit into our ‘norm’, giving ‘defaulters’ a quick show of disappointment or disapproval.

Now, please have a seat and take a holistic view at these situations. I have just one question ‘WHO MADE THE RULES’?

I am guessing there was a town hall meeting (that’s what it was called back then I guess) with all our forefathers in attendance and each issue was tabled out and decisions were made. Although I think what happened was whatever was common was generally accepted. So if you were or behaved ‘different’, something was wrong with you.
These limiting rules are major causes for many of the problems you see with people today.

 We make assumptions about everything and accept these assumptions as fact and live a way that is not aligned with the truth. 

I have always been different. Born left handed, it was a not so pleasant childhood especially in school. I remember a time my mum fought with a teacher who tried to ‘change’ me to being right handed. As I grew older, I learnt to live with being different, accepting whatever insults came with it. I also learned to conform so as not to be shouted at by random old women in the market, or in a restaurant for being different. The idea was to live and let live. But what if was bigger than this?  What if it was a choice that would affect you for the rest of your life and you are conforming, deciding based on what the world expects of you?

It’s your life and whatever choice you make, YOU will bear the consequences no matter how sweet or sour it is. After all, if a choice you made gave you one million, you will not share oo (sha pay your tithe).

In as much as you do what makes you happy and you are at peace with yourself, it's perfect. He who wears the shoe knows where it pinches. Stop living up to everyone’s standards because you can’t, you simply just can’t.
Be You…….Be (Put your own adjective).

E.g Be You…..Be Spontaneous 

P.S Still in anticipation of your GidiHistoriaz (Gidi Stories)
Please send as a text mail or an attachment to Oluwatoni16@gmail.com 

Tuesday, 27 September 2016

GidiHistoriaz

Welcome to my blog again and if this is the first post you are reading, thank you for clicking the link.
I thought about adding a new sway to my blog called GidiHistoriaz (Gidi Stories) which basically talks about stories, events or occurrences that happen on a daily basis. It could be a personal recount of the event or one you witnessed. It is not limited to Lagos though. You can send your entries to oluwatoni16@gmail.com for others to laugh and of course learn from.

Let me set the ball rolling by narrating my own story. You know me though, story teller of life.
Beautiful Saturday morning. The sun came out despite the heavy rain over the night and I was happy, at least my clothes will dry today. I hurriedly washed the clothes (They came out clean sha). I spread them on the line and dashed into the bathroom thinking of the best outfit for the day as it was my friend’s birthday bash (it was just a small party though).  The jollof rice had better make ‘sense’ because it was one of the major reason why I was going (asides the fact that I love my friend *smiles*).

Make up and charisma on fleek, I stepped out in a looking like a million bucks (as a man thinketh in his heart, so he is). As I didn’t want to ‘waste’ my money on cab, I entered danfo (bus) heading to Berger as the party was at Omole Phase 2. I didn’t forget my amour (Ear phones and a novel) for the journey ahead. The bus left the park, I was plugged and the journey begun. Just as we approached the Agbidingbi Road (Cocacola), the engine of the bus begun to spark (I don’t know the right term). It started out as something that would end soon as the driver convinced us it was nothing to be worried about. He kept saying ‘O normal, O man sele bee’ (Its normal, it happens all the time). I was seated at the last row just in front of the engine, so if anything was going to happen, I and three other passengers were going first contact meaning we were at greater risk. I was panicking but everyone around me seemed calm. I guessed they believed the driver’s ‘convincing’ words. Though I continued reading my book, my mind was far from comprehending the words and then all of a sudden there was a loud blast from the engine. How we all scrambled out of that bus onto the curb, I can’t’ recall. All I know is we were out of the bus. Even with the current recession nobody wants to die (lol).

As at this time we were at Taiwo Bus Stop (FRSC) in Ojodu. After ranting on and on about how my concerns were ignored with no one paying attention (they were just grateful no one was harmed), I decided to walk to Berger to take Keke Napep to my friend’s house. On getting to the street, I notice anyone that passed me from behind gave me a weird look. In my head I was like Osshhheeeyyy fine girl. Everyone is looking at me. Did I mention that I wore a white top and jeans? Yes, I was so on fleek.

This continued until I got to the party venue, my friend came out, hugged me and then screamed. I was totally startled.
Ahan, are you that excited to see me? I asked
Only for her to say that my top was totally black behind. Unable to totally comprehend that, we went to her room and I took off my top. Chai all my high party vibes disappeared. I can’t believe no one could tell me all the way from Ojodu. I am sure it was that bus that did this to me.

Is this a sign O Lord? Is my Toyota Camry 2015 model on the way? Speak Lord am listening. I need a car ASAP


Have a great week ahead. Stay True….Be Fabulous.
Please send in your stories. 

Email: Oluwatoni16@gmail.com

Tuesday, 20 September 2016

Release your Cling


I know I promised a video *covers face* last week but I am sure you will forgive me if I narrated all the happenings between then and now. No time for that though. You can send me a message or call for the gist.

So recently I saw a picture post with the words ‘Don’t Cling to a Mistake Just Because You Spent a lot of Time Making it’. Now pause and read the words again. I am sure one or several incidents come to mind where you did just that and possibly still doing it.
The most recent thought attached to those words happened to me a few months ago. I made several choices which turned out to be mistakes based on a person and feelings associated. At a certain point, I knew it was wrong and I had to get out. It was emotionally draining and psychologically painful but because the mistake was done, I wanted to ‘manage’ it. The process of management was excruciating as I was constantly reminded that this was a mistake. It was always in my face, heart and head.
Grace found me and pulled, pushed and dragged me out though I struggled still wanting to cling to the mistake. Imagine knowing you will be burnt and still walking into fire. That was my case. I held on for as long as I could until grace snatched me, shut the door and destroyed the key. Yes, it was that deep. And no grace is not a person *Laughing*. God’s grace.

Now the error was that I was willing to remain in it, even though I knew it was wrong and that is exactly what a lot of people do. Think about how many people are still stuck to a bad career choice or a relationship mistake they made several years ago. Search your heart. I am quite sure you will affirm what I am talking about. If you have made that choice and got out hurt but happy now, I congratulate you. You are definitely strong. However, if you are still clinging to a mistake, this next paragraph is for you.

NEWSFLASH!!!! It is time to get out of that mistake. It will hurt I know but really it hurts already. A hurt towards freedom is better than hurting with no way out.

Now I tell you one thing, In the end, you will be happy you did. Liberation will be felt and things you thought you could never do will become a walk in the park. 

Have a marvelous week ahead, your testimony awaits you. 

Tuesday, 6 September 2016

Your Mess...Your Message

‘When life give you lemons.... You make lemonade’. This is basic advice you get from a friend or your mother when you share a problem or challenge. I know I have told myself a lot of times. We even had a customized one for Nigerians “When life shows you pepper, you make pepper soup with catfish”.

The truth is we all have certain experiences that left us devastated, betrayed, unhappy or *insert your own feeling*. No one can totally understand what pain or hurt we felt. Can you change your perspective just a little? Think about it. That experience thought you a lesson or two right. Ok I sense a few nods. People, situations or circumstances are either lessons or blessings. Either way, they come to teach us certain things in life.

Let me quickly share a short story about a female pastor I met (I like stories too much *covers face*). She grew up in a brothel and got into prostitution pretty early in life. From the abortions, to the countless men she encountered, her life was a total mess, until she gave her life to Christ. Now she is married and she has a ministry based on helping young women out of prostitution. She travels everywhere to share her story and inspire others, teaching them that it is possible to be liberated from such a life.


Now whether your mess is this big or bigger, it doesn’t matter. What matters is you getting out of it stronger, learning your lesson and moving on. It is also important to help others who might fall victims of such situations too (although most people would not listen sha).
There are certain people who have made a fortune just from sharing their life experiences with others e.g. Joyce Meyer. Personally I have had my share of disappointments but the truth is, I have become a better person. I cried a lot (I can be such a big baby) and took out time to analyse the situation and truthfully I found out that I made some mistakes myself. Now that is a lesson learnt.

Now here is a fact. The higher you go, the difficult it becomes. That’s the hard truth. But be rest assured that you are more than equipped to overcome and succeed if you set your heart to it.
 
Watchword for the week: Correct your mistakes, learn for them and make them a stepping step to greater heights.  Have an amazing week.
Next week’s post is going to be a video. You don’t want to miss it at all.

Tuesday, 30 August 2016

Copy Cat Syndrome



How often do you limit yourself just because you chose to be someone else? How often do you look at others before you take that step? We find ourselves in a society where every slim girl is assumed a model, every girl with flawless makeup is meant to a makeup artist and anything trending from hairstyles to clothing and of course business is meant for everyone. Sadly, it takes extra effort to be someone else. That’s being a copycat. Plain and simple. Seriously, not everything is for you, you are not a general commodity.  

The thing is the copycat syndrome exists in every one of us, myself included. From the unnecessary show offs to the debt we incur just to impress people who do not actually care. Think about the last 22 inches Brazilian or Peruvian hair you bought just to show them in the office or school that you know what up with the feeling of not want to be left out, and then you walk in and no one, no one at all commends your new ‘prized’ possession. A certain sense of rejection just overwhelms you and then you take plenty selfies and post it online. When the likes pour in, you feel a sense of acceptance. You are nodding and smiling right. I got that right. Hey it happened to me too.

Lest I forget too, our undying love for parties and aso-ebi, after all we are Nigerians; we love our parties. But don’t borrow to buy aso- ebi or use you next month’s salary to slay to the party. It is more memorable for the couple if you package whatever you have and put it in an envelope. Am sure they would appreciate it better.

Now don’t get me wrong, taking out time to spoil yourself is very much needed.  I am an aso ebi freak (when I can afford it) and I love to slay at every occasion I attend. But not at the detriment of my pocket or next month’s earnings.  

 When it is done to please others or in a way that is really discomforting, now there is where you draw the line. Don’t, just don’t.

A friend was sharing with me a story of two neighbours who lived right next to each other. Whenever neighbour A bought a new appliance, the other followed even when it meant taking a loan. A new car meant a new car for the neighbour and the list goes on and on.  How insecure can people be? I personally feel it boils down to lack of self-worth and low self-esteem. If you can afford it, its ok. If you can’t please stay in your lane, there is no shame in that.

In relation to our lives, where we live, how we dress, where we hang out, the job or career we chose, the kind of mobile phones and even as little as how we pray, we are all different. Why subject yourself to the torture of being anything other than yourself? 

Do not box yourself in trying to behave like someone else because no one actually ‘sent you message’. If it doesn’t work out well for you, only YOU is to be blamed.

 So, quickly say this after me
I am happy to be me

I may not be perfect

But I am honest, loving and real

I don’t try to be what I am not

And I do not try to impress anyone

I am ME.

Till I find another interesting issue (which I know will not be long), stay beautiful, real and appreciative of yourself. Sparkle like the diamond you are. Ciao.

Tuesday, 23 August 2016

Welcome to Toni'Tonics



I recently learnt that whatever makes you uncomfortable is an opportunity to grow, plus growth and comfort do not coexist. As part of my growth process, I have started a blog *loud applause*. and I do hope I keep at it for a really long time. 

As for my debut post, let me share a recent experience that might just be food for thought for some, or a lesson for others. 




Sunny day in Lagos that Thursday day morning, chai my MaryKay foundation was already running down my face. I quickly boarded Obalende bus at Ikeja as I  was headed to Victoria Island for an interview. The usual chaos on public transport was present as the conductor kept yelling "wole pelu change eh oo, mi i ni change oo" meaning enter with your change oo, I dont have change. I chose a seat by the window and not long after a plus sized woman sat beside me while two other joined on the same roll. I was totally sandwiched towards the side of the bus with the window as my only saving grace. 

Finally the journey begun and as usual I was armed. You see in Lagos especially on public transport you need to be fully ARMED with a motivational book or novel and most importanly earphones. Trust me it saves you from trouble sometimes.

Anyway back to my story. Just as we approached Ogudu(for those who know Lagos well), the following conversation ensued.

Passenger1: Madam please can you 'shift'. you have occupied the entire seat meant for 3 people

Passenger 2: See me see trouble oo. Where do you want me to move to. This bus is tight enough abeg oo.

Passenger 1: Madam, is it because am talking to you politely. *Hisses* its not your fault. Just look at you. Orobo, Occupy till i come. Even in this economy when people are losing weight, you can't. Rubbish.

Paasenger 3: Ahan Sister, that's too much now. What has the woman done to you? Is it her fault that she is fat?

Passenger 1: And how is any of this your business? Ehn answer me now. Amebo group of companies. I was not talking to you. 

Passenger 2: It is obvious you have no home training, not even a single one. And today i will teach you a lesson. *Slaps passenger 1*

Everyone in the bus was stunned. It was a resounding slap. Before anyone could say Jack Robinson, Passanger 1 retaliated. Then the action begun. In my entire life in Nigeria and beyond, I have never seen such a scene before. Gosh!!! At a point, the driver begun to swerve, obviously distracted by the ongoing fight as passangers begun to yell and scream telling him to concerntrate on the road. 

Now the big question, who was going to seperate these the fighting duo. Two men stepped in grabbing each of them and pulling them away from each other. Both had finger nail marks all over their faces, hair was in total disarray and personal belongings scattered on the floor. I was too startled to even talk sef. 



Now the icing on the cake.....

Just when we thought the fight was over Passenger 3 decided it was time to talk.

Passenger 3: wow. See how grown women are fighting on the bus. You should be ashamed. Do you have children? Am quite sure they will be so disappointed in you guys right now. Gosh what a disgusting sight.

She kept going on and on in her by force british accent, little did she know that the anger in the fighters was still lingering. Like the speed of light, she recived two 'hot' AKA Gbono felli feli slaps from the lionesses. When that was not enough to reset her brain, she almost recieved another dose only rescued by the man beside her.

As at this time, Onikan roundabout was ahead and i just wanted to alight as quickly as possible from the bus. Wetin your eye no go see for Lagos. 


P.S In Lagos , the number one motto of every surviving individual is MIND YOUR BUSINESS.