Tuesday, 23 August 2016

Welcome to Toni'Tonics



I recently learnt that whatever makes you uncomfortable is an opportunity to grow, plus growth and comfort do not coexist. As part of my growth process, I have started a blog *loud applause*. and I do hope I keep at it for a really long time. 

As for my debut post, let me share a recent experience that might just be food for thought for some, or a lesson for others. 




Sunny day in Lagos that Thursday day morning, chai my MaryKay foundation was already running down my face. I quickly boarded Obalende bus at Ikeja as I  was headed to Victoria Island for an interview. The usual chaos on public transport was present as the conductor kept yelling "wole pelu change eh oo, mi i ni change oo" meaning enter with your change oo, I dont have change. I chose a seat by the window and not long after a plus sized woman sat beside me while two other joined on the same roll. I was totally sandwiched towards the side of the bus with the window as my only saving grace. 

Finally the journey begun and as usual I was armed. You see in Lagos especially on public transport you need to be fully ARMED with a motivational book or novel and most importanly earphones. Trust me it saves you from trouble sometimes.

Anyway back to my story. Just as we approached Ogudu(for those who know Lagos well), the following conversation ensued.

Passenger1: Madam please can you 'shift'. you have occupied the entire seat meant for 3 people

Passenger 2: See me see trouble oo. Where do you want me to move to. This bus is tight enough abeg oo.

Passenger 1: Madam, is it because am talking to you politely. *Hisses* its not your fault. Just look at you. Orobo, Occupy till i come. Even in this economy when people are losing weight, you can't. Rubbish.

Paasenger 3: Ahan Sister, that's too much now. What has the woman done to you? Is it her fault that she is fat?

Passenger 1: And how is any of this your business? Ehn answer me now. Amebo group of companies. I was not talking to you. 

Passenger 2: It is obvious you have no home training, not even a single one. And today i will teach you a lesson. *Slaps passenger 1*

Everyone in the bus was stunned. It was a resounding slap. Before anyone could say Jack Robinson, Passanger 1 retaliated. Then the action begun. In my entire life in Nigeria and beyond, I have never seen such a scene before. Gosh!!! At a point, the driver begun to swerve, obviously distracted by the ongoing fight as passangers begun to yell and scream telling him to concerntrate on the road. 

Now the big question, who was going to seperate these the fighting duo. Two men stepped in grabbing each of them and pulling them away from each other. Both had finger nail marks all over their faces, hair was in total disarray and personal belongings scattered on the floor. I was too startled to even talk sef. 



Now the icing on the cake.....

Just when we thought the fight was over Passenger 3 decided it was time to talk.

Passenger 3: wow. See how grown women are fighting on the bus. You should be ashamed. Do you have children? Am quite sure they will be so disappointed in you guys right now. Gosh what a disgusting sight.

She kept going on and on in her by force british accent, little did she know that the anger in the fighters was still lingering. Like the speed of light, she recived two 'hot' AKA Gbono felli feli slaps from the lionesses. When that was not enough to reset her brain, she almost recieved another dose only rescued by the man beside her.

As at this time, Onikan roundabout was ahead and i just wanted to alight as quickly as possible from the bus. Wetin your eye no go see for Lagos. 


P.S In Lagos , the number one motto of every surviving individual is MIND YOUR BUSINESS.   

11 comments:

  1. Lol. Welcome to blogging world! Yeah. Lagos can be tough, best thing is to mind one's business. Lol, totally relatable.

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  2. Lwkmd. This was superb. Kudos dear❤️❤️❤️

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    1. Thnks dear... Hope u are good. We sud see one of these weekends oo....😘 😘 😘

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  3. Oh my God!! I can't stop laughing. Nice post dear

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  4. "Lionesses" ����....nice and very funny. Makes lagos buses scary tho.

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  5. ��������������Lwkmd!!!!! Lagos palava.Nice one dear i love your content ������������������nice story.from today i go dey mind my business

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  6. So funny. Really important lesson, minding your own business.

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  7. So funny. Really important lesson, minding your own business.

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  8. Nice one Toni .. God Bless you ..

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